A Locket Full Of Woe.

BACK TO "THE BENSON BASE" A Locket Full of Woe
by P.A.Bines.
Based on characters created by E.F.Benson.
This story (c) 1996 P.A.Bines
- - - June can be a warm month, and this particular year, the weather was particularly hot. The mud flats of Tilling were baking in the sun, and where once had sailed a kitchen table, controlled by the currents of the river, now there was only cracked earth. In the gardens of Tilling, the shortage of water had caused difficulties, especially as the Mayor, at the urging of the council, had declared a ban on profligate water use. The Mayor suffered most by this decree, as she was the owner of probably the best garden in Tilling, that of Mallards.. Lucia, (for it was she, of course), bore the difficulties with ease; she instructed Coplen to install a water butt, (to catch rain water, should it happen to rain), and also the water used for bathing was re-used on the flower beds and lawn. Some of Tilling society, (it would be churlish to name them), suspected the owner of Mallards to be cheating, but no proof could be found, no matter how many half-crowns were offered.
Tilling society was given the opportunity to see how Lucia's careful use of water was affecting Mallards garden in the second week of June, when the Mayor held a garden party in aid of the cottage hospital. These parties had become something of a tradition in Tilling, and, even though the weather was still rather uncomfortable, Lucia had insisted that it proceed this year. She chose not to dress in full Mayoral garb, (it was so heavy, and the weather was so warm), and so she appeared in a bright, summery dress with a wide brimmed hat. She also wore the brooch which was said to contain a locket of Beethoven's hair, although the only person to say this was Lucia herself. In fact, the dark curl of hair contained therein was cut from the head of Pepino, Lucia's former husband after an unfortunate accident where the original contents were lost. Lucia maintained the fiction purely because it was easier than to explain the truth. In fact, the last time she had worn the brooch was at a bridge party at Grebe, and the mistress of that house was extremely dubious about it's provenance. Lucia was sure she saw a dangerous glint in her hostesses eye, but she let it pass...
Lucia greeted her guests and directed them towards the Garden Room, where a table of refreshments had been placed. Lucia was interrupted by a discreet cough, and she turned away from her guest to be dazzled by the gleaming smile of Mrs Elizabeth Mapp-Flint, the former owner of Mallards. "How good of you to come, Elizabeth!", she said, "and who is your guest? I don't believe we've been introduced?"
Elizabeth's smile became even wider. "Dearest Worship, I was just about to introduce you! May I present Professor Mitburg of the University of Arizona? He has taken 'Grebe' for the month of June."
Lucia shook hands with the professor. "Of what are you a professor?", she asked If it wasn't too mundane a field, Lucia could see Professor Mitburg being a regular guest at Mallards.
"Genetics, dear lady. I am currently working on a study of great historical minds."
"Really? Please, do go on", Lucia looked sideways at Elizabeth, whose smile had not diminished, and who definitely had a glint in the eye. What could this mean? Was it a trap?
"I have been fortunate to receive skin and hair samples from a number of great philosophers, writers, artists and composers and, using the latest techniques, I, and my researchers, are discovering many fascinating insights into their lives." The Professor paused, to catch his breath, then continued, "Police scientists have long known that hair can contain traces of poisons, a fact that has hastened the conviction of a number of murderers in the past. Now, using methods recently discovered by myself, I am able to discover far more, and from samples many years old."
Lucia suddenly saw the trap.
"And when I mentioned to the Professor that there was, in our dear little Tilling, a sample of Beethoven's hair, he insisted that I bring him to it! And there it is now, Professor.", Elizabeth pointed to Lucia's brooch.
"Mrs Pilson, might I take a look at your locket?", the Professor asked. Lucia could hardly refuse, for, hearing Elizabeth's shrill voice, a number of other guests had wandered over. The Padre and Wee Wifie, Susan Wyse, (Mr Wyse was ill, and had sent his apologies that he could not attend). Diva Plaistow was there, just behind the Professor, and holding a plate of sandwiches.
"But of course." said Lucia smoothly, as she unpinned it. "Please, take a look. Please do be careful with it, it is rather fragile." She handed it to the Professor, who squinted at it through his spectacles.
"Is it genuine?" he asked. Lucia paused. If she admitted it was not, then dearest Elizabeth would be crowing for weeks. However, if she reinforced the somewhat misleading impression that it was genuine, and the professor later proved it was not, then Elizabeth would be crowing for months.
Professor Mitburg, taking Lucia's silence as being distaste for the question, looked up with an apologetic smile. "I am sorry, Mrs Pilson, but so often have I been offered fakes by charlatans that I feel I have to ask. Please forgive me?"
"Certainly", replied Lucia, who saw a possible way out. "I have always understood that it was genuine, although I am no expert. I would be most disappointed if it were to prove to be a fake."
"Perhaps", the Professor said, "I could obtain some proof? If I may take a small sample, I may be able to tell you if it is real. Would you allow such a thing?"
Lucia pondered. If she refused, some of those within earshot might start to suspect that all was not as it seems concerning the locket. However, if she agreed, and the Professor revealed his findings to the general public... Could she live with the exposure of the fraud? "I'm afraid I cannot make a decision now; I would like to consider the matter. When do you leave our dear Tilling?"
"I am staying here for another week, then I move on to Brighton. After a few days there, where I shall be giving a lecture on the latest developments in my particular field of research, I will be returning to Arizona." The Professor paused. "Of course, you must have more time to decide, and I will quite understand if you choose not to allow me to test your locket."
Lucia said that she would let the Professor know her decision before he left, and, by way of a change in the topic of conversation, asked him to study the flower beds, which were a riot of colour. As she walked away, with the Professor by her side, Elizabeth took Diva aside. "If she agrees to let the Professor examine that locket, I'll eat my hat. And, Diva dear, I'll eat yours too!" This would have been quite a thing, as Diva had taken, of late, to wearing a wide brimmed felt hat, covered in wax fruit. In the recent hot weather, some of the fruit had melted, which caused Diva to slightly resemble an unusually shaped candle.
"Well, I don't know. How can she say no?", asked the candle hatted Diva. "If she does, then no-one will believe her about it being from Beethoven." --- That night, before Lucia went to bed, she sat and thought long and hard about what she could do to avoid the potential disaster that awaited her if she made the wrong move. If she did say no, everyone would start to wonder why, (as, unbeknownst to her, Diva had suggested to Elizabeth). If, however, she acquiesced, and let Professor Mitburg perform his tests, then it would be known for certain that the hair was not that of the Master, but of someone whose demise was considerably more recent. If only Georgie had not decided to spend the week in Riseholme! Surely he, with his quick and intuitive reasoning, would have been able to come up with a solution. But then, perhaps not; Lucia suddenly remembered that Georgie had not been made aware of the secret of the locket's contents, he was under the impression that it contained what she had always said it had contained; Beethoven's hair. To ask for his help would be to reveal that he had been deliberately misled for all these years, and Lucia didn't think she could bear the expression on his face if she told him. As she thought this, she held the troublesome locket in her hands, turning it over and over as each new thought was processed and rejected. At last, she tired, and, placing the locket on the small dressing table in front of the window, which had been opened by Grosvenor due to the warmth of the evening, Lucia finally went to bed, and slept, dreaming of hair falling around her from thin air, and a multitude of American Professors grabbing every last strand. --- Next morning, Lucia was disturbed by a loud flittering at her bedroom window. Sleepily, she lifted her head to see what the disturbance might be. To her surprise, she saw a magpie, standing on her window-sill with something in it's beak. She couldn't make out what it was from this distance, but it was shiny; the early morning light reflected off of whatever it was the bird held in it's mouth. As Lucia rose to investigate further, the bird flew off, out of the window and into a nearby tree.
Lucia went to the dressing table to see what, if anything, was missing. When she realised what the bird had, in fact, taken, she immediately called for Grosvenor, and hurriedly dressed. Grosvenor arrived at the door, knocked, and came in. "Send for Coplen", she cried, A magpie has flown off with my locket!"
Coplen, upon his arrival, was sent off to catch the miscreant bird, which had perched on the wall surrounding the 'giardino segreto'. Unfortunately, every time he approached it, the magpie hopped further away. Coplen hit upon the idea of throwing his cap over the bird, and perhaps knocking the locket out of the errant beak, but, alas, this only resulted in the cap missing the target and falling into the garden of the house next door. The thief, having watched the exertions of the gardener with some interest, flew off towards the sand banks, and was soon lost to sight. --- The story of the stolen locket was soon passing along the High Street, courtesy of Grosvenor, who had been sent to do the shopping today; Lucia was said to be distraught by the loss. Tilling society was divided over the story, Elizabeth Mapp-Flint believing that the whole thing had been invented by Lucia so that she could avoid Professor Mitburg's discovery that the hair was not genuinely Beethoven's; Diva was unsure about the tale, and although she did not fall entirely into Elizabeth's camp, she saw echoes of previous 'stunts' used by Lucia to avoid detection. Everyone else saw no reason not to believe Lucia, (via Grosvenor), and when, later in the day, Lucia made an appearance in the High Street, they sympathised with her. Professor Mitburg was most disappointed and offered his regrets that he would not have the opportunity to test his theories, but he promised to send Lucia a copy of his thesis when it was published. --- June slipped away, and July followed it. Professor Mitburg returned to Arizona, and sent a copy of his thesis entitled "An Examination of Historical Folicular Material" to Lucia, who read the first page, then put it on her bookshelf. where it gathered dust. Lucia surprised herself by being more upset about the loss of the locket than she expected. True, the locket itself had a value, being gold, but the contents had little or no value, as they were not hairs from Beethoven's head, but merely Pepino's. In truth, although Georgie, (who, upon his return from Riseholme, commiserated with Lucia, and who nobly offered to replace the locket, which offer Lucia declined), was a good and faithful husband and friend, Lucia still missed the companionship of her late spouse.

A small breeze was blowing near a white house on the road skirting the marshes outside Tilling, and a bundle of leaves and twigs fell from the branches of a roadside tree. The breeze, a little stronger than before, blew the bundle into the garden of the white house, where it landed in the middle of a vegetable patch. The sun was setting, and the vegetable patch was in a secluded part of the garden, but had an observant person been present, he, (or she), would, perhaps, have noticed the glint of something bright and metallic amongst the twigs. Perhaps the mistress of the house, who was known for her garden produce, would notice it and wonder what it might be...

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